Silent Disease

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In terms of disease’s being silent, the one that has come into my life with a vengeance just happens to be Anorexia. The person in my life who suffers from it is my wife. At one point her weight got dangerously low more than a couple of decades ago and then she bounced back to somewhat normal after we had our son. That lasted for quite a while. Something recently or within the last year or so seems to have triggered her and she is on a kick to lose weight yet again.

She looks at herself and seem to think she is too fat, though at this point I would guess she barely weighs 100 lbs.

She always says that she just doesn’t like food, so she just doesn’t eat. Today is a good example, something got in her head that she should fast every Monday, and has been doing so for a couple of months now. This is bad on her body because it doesn’t like her not eating.

When she does eat it is barely anything at all. Hell pound for pound I am pretty sure our 9 lb chihuahua eats more food than she does.

I look at what she is doing and almost see it as a slow form of suicide, because at some point her body is going to give up the ghost and start to quit, when that will happen I don’t know, and that is the scary part for sure. Being she pretty much eats less than 1K calories per day, most likely closer to 500, and then she is exercising twice a day 4 days a week and once per day 3 times a week, at a minimum.

How long can the human body subsist on such low calories? I don’t know and can’t seem to find an answer to know when to start looking for signs that things are starting to fail internally in her system. I guess at this point it is good that I have been making her take various vitamins and pumping some electrolytes into her regularly for months. It might be the only thing keeping her functioning somewhat properly.

But it still scares me, I always wonder if one morning I am going to wake up to find that she isn’t going to wake up anymore.

Even worse, she doesn’t think she has a problem, this is normal to her, or she doesn’t care that it isn’t normal.

It is just sad to me to watch her waste away like she did once before, it was hard then, it is even harder seeing her do it to herself yet again, to do this to me yet again, as she doesn’t seem to realize how this hurts me in some ways as well.

This is it for now, just has to get these thoughts out of my head and share it somewhere.